


Fic Summaries

by willowcrowned



Series: The Peaceable Kingdom [6]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, enjoy, just summaries, not a real fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcrowned/pseuds/willowcrowned
Summary: This is a collection of summaries of the fics in The Peaceable Kingdom made for those who want to avoid the smut and still understand the plot, or for the much smaller subset of people who want to only read the smut but still get some plot, or for those who need a little extra explanation of the subtext. No judgement.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Edward Cullen, Jacob Black/Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Series: The Peaceable Kingdom [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567810
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	1. on wolves, sheep, and rafts; or how Bella, Jacob, and Edward figured things out

Bella: My life sucks because I’m in love with two assholes who can’t get along with each other and I can’t choose between them. 

Alice: but have you considered... not choosing? 

Bella: I don’t know Alice... that seems messy. 

Alice: You get to have sex with both of them. At the same time. 

Bella: I am suddenly completely on board 

*** 

Edward: Jacob is very horny for Bella. Coincidentally, I am also very horny for Bella. We have a lot in common. 

Everyone: *becomes very turned on and starts taking clothes off* 

Jake: Wow I am having some not-very-straight thoughts about Edward’s dick. 

Edward: *snarks nicely* 

Bella: *catches on* *is amused* 

Edward: I am very turned on and want to watch Jacob (to whom I am definitely not attracted) fuck my very beautiful girlfriend. 

Edward: *kisses Jacob-to-whom-he-is-definitely-not-attracted* 

Edward: Holy shit I’m attracted to Jacob 

Edward and Jake: *make out* 

Bella: *gets turned on watching them* 

Jake: *eats Bella out* 

Edward: *is very turned on* 

Edward: *eats Bella out* 

Jake: *strips* 

Edward: I am getting the irresistible urge to suck Jacob’s cock right now. *gets the irresistible urge to suck Jacob’s cock right now* *starts to suck Jacob’s cock* 

Bella: Hi I’m horny and just got edged by you two idiots can someone PLEASE get me off 

Edward: *gets Bella off* 

Jake: *thinks about having sex with Bella* 

Edward: *hears those thoughts and gets sad* 

Jake: *thinks about having sex with Edward* 

Edward: *hears those thoughts and gets happy* 

Jake: *gives Edward the best and first handjob of his life* 

Edward: *comes so hard he blacks out* 

Edward: *looks at Jacob* *realizes that Jacob is not an evil mastermind trying to steal Bella and make her unhappy and is, in fact, just a teenager in love for the first time* *feels bad* *hugs Jacob* 

Jake: Thank you for hugging me. Incidentally, I am still incredibly turned on. 

Bella: Someone fuck me now. 

Jake: *fucks her now* 

Everyone: *comes in short succession* 

Everyone: *cuddles*


	2. Practical Problem Solving

Edward: I am extremely turned on by watching Jacob and Bella make out. Also, why is nobody paying attention to me? 

Jake and Bella: *stop making out* 

Bella: We were making out to make sure you were turned on enough for me to finger you open, because that makes sense for some reason. 

Edward: Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense. Now please finger me. I’m very curious and impatient. 

Bella: *tries to finger him* 

Edward: *has literally rock-hard muscles* *does not relax* 

Bella: This isn’t going to work unless you relax. 

Edward: *doesn’t relax* 

Jake: I have an idea. What if I put my dick in Edward’s mouth. 

Edward and Bella: Oh, sure, that makes perfect sense. 

Edward: *gets fingered open and really starts to enjoy the process* 

Bella: *stops fingering him* 

Edward: I am going to complain until one of you fucks me because I’ve decided I like being a needy bottom. 

Jake and Bella: That’s fine with us because we think it’s hilarious. Also... 

Jake: *fucks Edward* 

Bella: *sits on Edward’s face* 

Jake: *snarks* 

Bella: *shuts him up* 

Everyone: *comes* 

Edward: Don’t bother cleaning up immediately. 

Jake and Bella: what. the fuck. 

Edward: I’m being needy, remember? 

Jake and Bella: Works for us. 

Edward: Hey guys let’s end this with a contrived one-liner about my family. 

Fic: *ends with a contrived one-liner about the Cullens*


	3. Edward's Charm

Jake and Bella: We hate parties. 

Alice: I think I will embarrass both of you by referencing your sex lives. 

Jake: I am astonishingly smitten with Edward. 

Edward: I am astonishingly smitten with Jacob. 

Rebecca: Hello Jacob my loving brother. Our father is not here because he disapproves of your choice of partners both in terms of species and gender. 

Everyone: *dances* 

Edward: Hello Jacob my loving not-quite-boyfriend will you come outside with me so we can avoid my noisy family. 

Jake: Hello Edward my loving not-quite-boyfriend. Yes. 

Edward: Sorry it is cold outside. Also, I look like a seventh grader at a school dance. That is to say, terrified. 

Jake: Is everything okay? 

Edward: No. Here’s a diamond necklace which is my way of properly asking you out. 

Jake: :0 :’) 

Edward: I don’t understand 

Jake: *kisses him* 

Edward: oh. oH. 

Jake: Did you seriously not figure it out? 

Edward: No. I’m super insecure and I haven’t been reading your mind because that’s super creepy and invasive and you said you didn’t like it. 

Alice: You guys better explain why you’re messing up my schedule. 

Jake: Edward was romancing me. 

Alice: Fine, then. I will grudgingly allow that. *grudgingly allows it* 

Edward, Bella, and Jake: *are super cute together*


	4. Where the Creek Grows Shallow

**Chapter One**

Jake: *has a nightmare about Bella and Edward ripping his throat out* 

Bella and Edward: What’s wrong? 

Jake: Nothing >:o 

Bella, Edward, and Jake: *go to a party* 

Bella and Edward: *are smiley and witty and enjoying themselves* 

Jake: *is lonely and awkward* 

Jake: *gets flirted with by a hot nerd named Nadim* 

Jake: I don’t want to tell you that I’m taken because you’re really nice and really hot and I never got the chance to be an awkward gay in high school so I’m making up for it now. 

Edward: Hello boyfriend. Hello man who is hitting on my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend are going to go make out in the study now so please go away. 

Edward and Jake: *have a conversation that defies description* 

Edward and Jake: *sneak out the back and go home for... reasons* 

**Chapter Two**

Everyone: *goes to a theater* 

Bella and Edward: *have a conversation about MacBeth* 

Jake: *hates being in loud, crowded, places* 

Jake: I’m here only because I like Bella too much to say no to these sorts of things. 

Edward: I know this and I love you 

Bella: starts logging dick jokes 

Jake: *gets a call from Charlie and goes outside to take it* 

Charlie: This story is going a bit slowly so I’m going to kick start it by telling you your dad has skin cancer and that you have to come home. Also try not to tell Bella and Edward because your dad is an idiot. Also I’m going to make an oblique reference to the possibility that your dad and I might be fucking which will later be confirmed. 

Jake: fuck 

**Chapter Three**

Jake: *runs in to Nadim* 

Nadim: we’re cool about Friday night, right? 

Jake: yeah, sorry my boyfriend is a possessive asshole sometimes. 

Nadim: it’s all good. I’m going to avoid having to focus on grading by inviting you to talk about your problems. 

Jake: I have to go home, Bella and Edward won’t want to come with me, and if they do come with me they’ll probably hate it and then hate me. 

Nadim: You could just ask them. 

Jake: No, that’s too reasonable. 

Nadim: … 

Jake: I think I will attempt to make them volunteer to come with me so it’s not my fault if they hate it. 

Nadim: you can go now 

Jake: *leaves* 

Nadim: well I sure dodged a bullet with that one. 

Jake: Hey Bella I’m going to go back home. 

Bella: okay 

Jake: Don’t you want to come with me? 

Bella: No. Forks gave me enough trauma to fill, like, four diaries full of turgid introspection. 

Jake: But consider... you’re a bad daughter if you don’t 

Bella: what the actual fuck Jake. 

Jake: I guess she doesn’t love me and won’t come back with me. also, Edward loves her more than me so he won’t come back with me either. 

Edward: Dude, something’s up 

Jake: no it isn’t 

Jake: … 

Jake: ur pretty 

Edward: *rolls with Jake’s attempt to diffuse the situation but ends up tripping over Jake’s trust issues and shoving his foot in his mouth* 

Jake: *kisses Edward as an attempt to distract him from how sad he is* 

Edward: *is thoroughly distracted* 

**Chapter Four**

Jake: *thinks about class differences* 

Jake: *breaks a horribly expensive plate that you can find here: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/global-views-swirl-charger-prod217500030?childItemId=NMHBZDZ_&navpath=cat000000_cat000553_cat40510812_cat44700732&page=0&position=21 * 

Jake: I don’t have money. Also, my father maybe traumatized me a little. 

Edward: It’s just a plate. 

Bella: what the fuck Edward. 

Bella, Edward, and Jacob: *drive out of the city to go hunting* 

Jake: Maybe I can exist happily in the same world as Bella and Edward. Maybe our fundamental differences can be bridged and our natures and backgrounds aren’t irreconcilable. 

Bella and Edward: *run off* 

Jake: nah I’m pretty much screwed. 

Jake: after all they did literally tear my stomach open and leave me to bleed out once. huh. wonder if that’s why I’ve been having nightmares about that exact scenario. 

Jake: oh well *leaves without saying goodbye* 

**Chapter Five**

Billy: I have shot and will shoot intruders. 

Jake: Dad it’s me. Also I just went through a really tough series of things including running hundreds of miles in a freakishly short amount of time. Not so short that it’s clear the author didn’t research the running speeds of wolves, but short enough that it’s clear the author definitely chose to ignore that research. So like 24 hours. 

Jake: *wakes up and, in an extremely cliché scene, temporarily forgets that he left Bella and Edward* 

Jake: im sad 

Charlie: Hey Jake. You look terrible. 

Jake: I feel terrible. Do you want to not-talk about my emotions? 

Charlie: Great, I love not-talking about emotions. 

Bella: *calls Charlie’s cell while he’s outside* 

Jake: *picks up* 

Jake: Hey Bella 

Bella: JAKE??!!! You’re alright! 

Jake: Yes. Now leave me alone 

Bella: So you pull the dickest of moves by leaving in the middle of the night, letting me and Edward worry, and then act like you did nothing wrong? 

Jake: Yeah just about. Bye. 

Jake: *can’t sleep. not because of repressed trauma leading to mild ptsd but just bc,,, homesick* 

Charlie: *calls Jake* 

Charlie: dude what the fuck. my daughter and my daughter’s boyfriend just showed up in the middle of the night and they sound pissed. make it stop. 

Jake: fine. meet me in a location that is not very specific because the author doesn’t want to make up any landmarks but also refuses to look any up. 

Jake, Bella, and Edward: *meet up* 

Jake: *antagonizes them because he hates himself* 

Edward and Bella: we miss you but also we’re hella pissed. 

Jake: no i will not explain. 

Edward and Bella: tell us 

Jake: no 

Edward and Bella: telllllll ussssss 

Jake: fine. I’m inadequate and I suck a lot. 

Edward and Bella: well that’s bullshit. no we will not be sensitive. 

Jake: you guys are vampires, I’m a werewolf. You guys don’t worry about money, I do. You guys are a Fox News Anchor’s dream threesome, I am definitively not. 

Bella: we don’t care 

Jake: But I do. You guys get to not care. I don’t. You don’t have to worry about class and race dynamics within your own relationships because you have never had to think about class an race as anything but an abstract, mutable construct. 

Bella and Edward: okay so. What are we supposed to do??? 

Jake: Move back to Forks with me. 

Jake: *doesn’t care that that is a terrible way to solve a problem, and a more than a bit manipulative besides* 

Bella and Edward: This is some sort of manipulative test isn’t it. 

Jake: Maybe. 

Bella: … Okay. Just tell us what you want. This might suck for me, but I refuse to lose you. 

Edward: *is scared and confused but in agreement with Bella* 

Jake: I have to move back but I thought you guys would hate me if I made you so I pulled this nonsense. 

Bella: Dude. If it’s important to you, then of course I’ll move back. And I would never blame it on you, because it would be my own decision. 

Edward: what she said 

Jake: oh thank fuck. 

Jake: my dad has skin cancer 

Edward and Bella: oh shit. that explains a lot. 

Edward, Bella, and Jake: *go back to Bella’s house to sleep in the same bed* 

Jake: *wakes up in between Edward and Bella* 

All of them: *have a sickly sweet and self-indulgent conversation* 

Jake: guess I’ll go to therapy 

Edward: Your dads are fucking 

Jacob: :o 

Bella: :O 

Edward: drives Jake back home 

**Epilogue**

Jake: *is stressed* 

Charlie: *calls him* 

Charlie: Billy is going to be fine. It’s only one surgery, no chemo. 

Jake: Oh thank fuck. 

Jake: *leaves so that Charlie and Billy can celebrate in peace and Jake doesn’t have to imagine that they might do anything other than drink in silence* 

Edward and Bella: *meet up with him* 

Bella: You look tired. 

Jake: yeah no duh 

Bella and Edward: you need sleep. come sleep with us tonight. 

Jake: 🥺 okay 

Jake: *falls asleep on Bella in the car, finally feeling safe and content*


End file.
